He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
