Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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