Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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