We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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