He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The air was thick with penises
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
