Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
