I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
