i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
