its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize