We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
