On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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