whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
