tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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