when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
