And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The adults are the big ones right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
