Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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