You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
