there's paper in my vomit.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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