did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
