rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You need Xanax blowdarts
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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