did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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