i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
