if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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