And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
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If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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