I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
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