A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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