sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
