This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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