You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
