I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
