Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
