we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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