Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize