I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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