Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
