It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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