I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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