wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She bit a glass in half.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company