im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!