It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.