the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.