Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
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i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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