she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
