Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
