I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
