My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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