Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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