i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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