I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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