brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
