Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize