I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
