I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
