remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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