so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
