his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
