Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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