Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
