i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
