gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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