North Korea, Best Korea!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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