absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
