how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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