why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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