i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
