Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
