wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
