I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she pinky promised me she was 18
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
