For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
