he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
