Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
